The
contestants on the first episode of VH1's reality show Dating Naked, in
which couples court in the nude, were primarily concerned with one
thing: where to keep their eyes.
The
first daters, Joe, 24, and Wee Wee, 36, who would each go out with two
other people during the course of the episode, exchanged brief hellos
before taking off all their clothes and reconvening on an empty, remote
beach for their initial rendezvous.
'I'm
most worried about getting a little excited, you know?' Joe said as he
stripped down. 'I will just try not to think about it. I'll probably
think about elephants or like monkeys or something like that - and just
look her straight in the eye.'
In the buff! Daters Joe and Wee Wee caught each other staring at their, um, private parts almost immediately
Only their heads can touch! Joe steals a quick kiss from Wee Wee in the first episode of Dating Naked
Eyes up here! Joe and Wee Wee get to know each other after their experience with the Zorb on the beach
Upon
initially getting a full view of each others' birthday suits, it's
obvious how awkward they both feel - though neither attempts to shield
their blurred-for-television parts with their hands.
After a second of nervous laughter, they lean in for a painful-to-watch hug, in which only their shoulders and arms touch.
Joe
then says: 'What the hell is going on? It's like you're naked and I'm
naked, and I didn't even get to buy you a drink first.'
After
the meeting, the show cuts to a confessional, and Joe admits he
definitely saw Wee Wee 'checking [him] out' and 'staring at [his]
genitals.'
Happy birthday suit! Wee Wee says she could only focus on 'Joe's testicles' when they first met
Baring their souls: Wee Wee and Joe eat dinner during a rare moment when their clothes are on
Wee
Wee, who admits she hasn't had sex in more than a year, then
contradicts him in her own private confession: 'I didn't even focus on
the penis. I just saw his testicles and was like, "Uhh, now where should
I look?"'
But they soon get even more of an eyeful: For their ocean-side date, the couple Zorbed around the sand and in the water.
Zorbs
are giant, see-through balls (this show makes it too easy), in which
people can roll around inside. The contraptions ensure you get an
all-angle view of the person inside.
'My
first thought when I saw the ball was, "What if I have to fart?"' Joe
said. 'I'm gonna hold it in. I mean, you can hold it in. But it looks
like fun.'
Joe and Wee Wee go in one at a time, and as one of them tumbles around, the other pushes from the outside.
The
show then takes an emotional turn, when they go back to chairs on the
beach, and both Wee Wee and Joe talk about what they want in a partner.
Wee Wee, more than anything, wants children.
Wee
Wee starts crying during her confessional when she brings up the
possibility of not having kids. 'I really want a family of my owns,' she
says.
Then
Joe drops his own shocking news: He got married when he was 19,
divorced five months later, and then got bacterial meningitis.
The night goes well, but Joe and Wee Wee still have two more dates to go on.
Beauty on the beach! Joe is immediately taken by Jasmine's good looks, and he says she's completely taken his mind off Wee Wee
Summer love? Joe and Jasmine go boogie boarding for their first date, an activity Joe calls 'sexual'
Is this art? Wee Wee and Jack make a painting with their bodies for their first date
Doing pushups? Wee Wee can't help but notice that 'Jack is packing' as they make art with their bodies
The
next day, Joe meets Jasmine, a gorgeous 20-something from Israel. He
says that Jasmine's beauty definitely takes his mind off Wee Wee,
especially as they go boogie boarding - an activity he calls 'very
sexual.'
Meanwhile,
Wee Wee meets Jack, a zany 20-something. She immediately notices he's
pale and not completely naked: he's wearing Converse tennis shoes. Wee
Wee is turned off.
The
pair has a date making body art. They pour paint over one another and
Wee Wee can't help but notice that 'Jack is packing.' Still, she can't
take her mind off Joe.
All
four of the daters later meet up for an intimate, clothed drinks and
dinner, and Wee Wee is nervous Jasmine will 'be skinny' or 'have big
boobs.' Unfortunately, both her fears are realized.
Before any food is even eaten, Joe and Jasmine are naked in the pool together, as a sad Wee Wee looks on.
Giving some lip! Joe and Jasmine get it on back in the villa
Adam and Eve? Wee Wee goes bird-watching with Justice, but she says the only bird she sees belongs to him
A match made in heaven? Joe has a good time with Chrissy, but he doesn't like her more than Jasmine and Wee Wee
For their third and final dates, Joe goes out with Chrissy and Wee Wee meets Justice.
The first couple does high-speed water sports, while the latter goes bird-watching.
While
Joe finds Chrissy, who's a professional violinist, 'beautiful,' the
pair lacks the spark of the first two dates. It's obvious Jasmine is
still on Joe's mind.
Justice,
when he meets Wee Wee, immediately tells her she's 'tiny and pretty'
and she says she finds him handsome, but, again, the sparks don't fly as
they walk through the jungle.
'His bird was the only bird that I actually saw today,' said Wee Wee of Justice's, ahem, anatomy.
Now
all six of the contestants go back to the villa, and drama ensues. Will
Joe pick Jasmine over Wee Wee? Will Jasmine hit on Justice? Will any of
the other contestants get together once they see each other naked? And,
most importantly, will Jack remove his Chuck Taylors?
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