How I Got The Strength To Write A Book In The Memory Of My Brother- Toluwalase Falode

Beautiful Toluwalase Falode, Daughter of popular broadcaster, Aisha Falode has spoken on the death of her brother who was killed last year in Dubai and how she had the strength to write a book in his memory despite that she was mourning. Here’s what the law graduate from a Dublin university told Punch. May the soul of her brother continue to rest in peace. Really sad! Find her words after the cut.

What was your relationship with your late brother?

As I wrote in my book, Gift of Grace: A Sibling Bond, we had a strong bond. I was distraught after his death. My brother would have been 21 years old today (May 19) if he were alive. He turned 20 last year and it was the first time I could not call him to wish him ‘happy birthday.’ It was a situation too hard for me to handle.

There are many ways to remember him, why did you choose to write a book in his honour?

It was an unconscious decision to document his memory through a book. I was reeling in the pain of his death but I kept on writing. Tears were streaming down my face but I kept on writing. It was as if I was compelled to write. The urge to capture the fond memories we shared while he was alive kept pushing me to write. I knew I had to put my thoughts about him down. Writing a book about my late brother came as the best option to remember him. At the time I was writing, my mother was also dealing with her own pain. I decided to share some of my words with her hoping that they would help her in her moment of grief. I realised that her loss was deeper than mine. She lost a son while I lost a brother. I could not imagine the depth of her pain and I was desperate to comfort her. They were so close. My message to her is that I am very grateful that she is my mother.

How long did it take you to write the book?

The book wrote itself. My relationship with God has increased with the death of my brother. I strongly believe that it is through the grace of God that I have reached this point in my life having lost my brother in a painful manner. He was so much part of my present and future to the extent that when he died, I could not see anyone.

You said grief enveloped you as you kept on writing, what motivated you to carry on?

The motivation that made me to continue writing was the need to protect my family. I knew then that the only way I could protect my family was to remain strong throughout the writing period. I needed to express what I was going through in order to confront each pain that stared at me at each stage of the writing process.

How did you feel when the book was eventually published?

I could not believe I had finished writing a book. I kept touching it to feel it. I was just thinking that God is too faithful to indeed see me through my first writing experience.

What memories of him do you fondly remember?

I miss him more when I remember how mischievous he was. He was truly a brother. He loved to annoy me. Sometimes, I enjoyed when he annoyed me because I loved the sound of his laughter. It made me happy in my heart. I loved to make him laugh. I could pretend as if I did not know what he was thinking but I knew. I miss the way he called my name and protected me. I miss the way we would look at each other and knew what we were thinking. I will miss many things about him.